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As you begin to gain
the greater awareness of connection, how can you hold a grudge?
How can you be indifferent? How can you be in judgment, when
you see the Life Force as it is, seemingly happening--often--in
spite of circumstances and conditions? You begin to live with
an awareness, in presence and being, of the connections in Life,
realizing that the time allotted to human beings is very short compared
to the standing universe, to that of existence: a mere spot, a moment
in all of eternity. You can spend that moment in suffering,
or you can spend it in connection. You can spend a moment
in the perception of separation, living in guilt and judgment, fear
and survival, or you can spend that moment in celebration, loving
what-Is, embracing what-Is, understanding what-Is to the best of
your ability.
Is there really any time to waste on guilt or shame or judgment
or remorse? Is there any time to waste on "What if?",
or "should", or "shouldn't"? From this
perspective, at times I can see the foolishness of human beings,
so caught up into the selfish agendas, the "me first",
the "what about me?", "what's in it for me?",
losing sight of what actually is. When you live in separation,
you live in a realm of consensus reality, conditions, beliefs, and
concepts; you live alone. Even in the midst of crowds
of people, you are alone. You search for some identity, some
recognition, some connection, but the core of your being, the very
heart of existence, seems separate, so there can never be any real
connection. You fabricate connections; you try to establish
realizations. You have an intellectual awareness of possibilities,
but unless the heart is there, unless the core of your existence
is awakened, you are like zombies walking around, having "sort
of" experiences, but no deep realization, no accessing the
unlimited possibilities of each moment, so caught up into the what-ifs,
the shoulds, the shouldn'ts, so afraid, absorbed in so much
strain, struggling to survive, to hold some ideal, some belief,
some concept.
It is really to no avail, for your life can be snuffed out at any
moment; it can all come to an end. There is so much written,
so much striving--to achieve, to believe, to conceive, to prepare--and
so little is done to actually live: to live in presence, to live
in connection, to recognize the fleetingness of Life, the fleetingness
of your own existence, and to come to grips and awareness of all
the time that has been wasted in remorse or guilt or judgment or
"should have", all the time spent in being self-centered,
alone.
When you think about the whole of your life, when you realize how
Life works, you can see that there are no guarantees or assurances.
There is no promise, because it is left to each of you to find
within yourself the fortitude, the awareness, the power, and the
connections. Life does not force or compel you to achieve
or to fail. Life is not against you, Life just Is. When
you can live in the awareness and connection that Life Is, you begin
to realize the true source of existence, the true place of being;
whatever you call it is just a word, a label.
This realization involves seeing that it is not outside, that
it is inside, that everything you need is inside; every ability,
every talent, every awareness, every possibility exists within you
already. It is like a gold mine that is just waiting to be
found. You keep looking on the outside--to books, to practices,
and to systems; you keep looking for solutions, for remedies, for
healing, and for enlightenment. You keep looking on the outside.
Yet all that is on the "outside" is darkness. There
is no existence that is on the "outside." All existence
is within. When you realize that, you come to see all the
programming, all the ideals, all the judgments, the expectations,
and the problems, as non-existent. They "exist"
only on the outside. You bring them in by belief; you open
the door to separation through belief.
The beauty of it is that a door you have opened, you can also close.
You can realize that the source of existence is within. You
can realize that the knowledge, the information, is within.
You access it from within; not through great clamoring or effort
or study or learning, but through presence and being.
It is a direct experience. When you have learned that
you cannot learn Life, you become full of wisdom. You have
to live Life; you have to experience it. Of course, one
of the tools that is necessary is trust, trusting that
it is possible, trusting that there is something within you that
is worthy of discovery, that within you there is that place of the
universe where everything Is, all possibilities co-existing side
by side, moment by moment, waiting to be discovered.
Humans have been notorious for looking outside, looking with
expectations, wants and desires, expecting from the outside some
savior, some deliverance, the right word, the right concept, the
right program, the right religion, expecting that it will somehow
bring a gift of awareness. But really the bottom
line is the experience, and if you are afraid to experience, you
have already cut yourself off. You will live in programs,
beliefs and concepts. You can gain all the knowledge
in the world, yet still be the most ignorant individual on
the planet. Intelligence, knowledge, those things that can
be learned, are simply rungs of a ladder that lead to something
that is priceless, something that is worth your whole life in attaining.
Most people cling to
the rungs of the ladder, expecting a particular rung to be it, forgetting
that they begin this journey at birth, and the journey is about
the direct experience of Life. Most individuals manage to
escape the experience, living somehow as the other, creating a selfish
persona, a "me," that is always in competition with the
supposed powers-that-be, always looking for something, wanting something, being
sick, diseased, addicted, lonely and separate.
The intellect rationalizes, "Well, I haven't found the right
religion, the right practice, the right path, the right teacher;
I haven't found the way", or "It's their fault; my parents'
fault; the government's fault; the world's fault; karma's fault."
If Life were controlling, if Life were an agenda, you could get
by with that kind of thinking. "Yes, it's Life's fault
that I'm not successful. It's Life's fault that I am diseased.
It's Life's fault that I am lonely." But Life does not
control. From the perspective of the conditional mind, Life
is really indifferent to you. Not too satisfying is it?
Humans are always searching for some "God" that will love
them, but they have given up the expectation that "God"
will love them unconditionally; it is a very conditional God they
have conceptualized. Religions are conditional: God
will love you, if you do the right thing; if you do the wrong thing,
God will expel you, punish you for eternity. Some believe
that if they sacrifice their life, they will get to enjoy a host
of virgins on the other side. Some believe that if they live
a pure life, they will get to sit at God's feet, play harp music,
and walk on golden streets. Some believe that even if
they don't live a good life, they will get to come back and do it
again. You see, it is all about "outside"; it is
all about the other. Very few ever get around to recognizing
where it is, or even what it is. It is really an inside job.
That is why I said there is nothing out there; the "outside"
is all darkness.
Existence is energy waiting to be utilized and manifested in
whatever way, whatever mold, whatever process can take place, but
it is not usable from the outside. "God," "heaven", "hell", and
"the next lifetime" are all concepts which humans
have devised about the outside. They are concepts that come
from the unknowing; it is like a child, who hasn't the slightest
idea of the truth, making up stories. Such stories can be
interesting, even exciting, but there is no truth to them.
They are wolves in sheep's clothing. The stories that humans
feed themselves, in some way to pacify themselves, have a subtle
divisiveness to them.
You continue to search, trying to make sense of the world around
you, but really the only way to know is to come inside, to come
into this place of silence. The place of silence is where
you are not reaching out, not striving after something, not using
the intellect to calculate or figure out; instead, there is a stillness,
and the stillness increases the more you can let go of any concept,
any belief, any perception of need or lack or want or don't-want, any
judgment, expectation or resistance. The more you let
go of these things, the more still you become, until finally there
is that moment--actually when you least expect it--when you suddenly
have the experience. You have a direct experience of
Life. You may laugh, you may cry; you may feel as if you have
lost your mind, but you've had the experience; you have experienced
Life-as-it-is. At that point, you are no longer concerned
with who's there or who's not there. You are no longer concerned
with a goal, a should or shouldn't; there is no more judgment, no
more resistance, no more attachment.
The intellect thinks, "Oh, that means I will just fall into
oblivion and do nothing." No, not quite. Because
of the direct experience of The Consciousness itself, the real You,
there is a creative explosion of possibilities; suddenly the whole
universe opens up to you, and you realize that you can do anything.
You can direct yourself in any way. You can move and exist
and be all that you can imagine as possible. There is only
one requirement: that you remain in silence, that is, you don't
let the intellect become activated and start laying shoulds and
shouldn'ts on you; you don't fall into judgments about your creation;
instead, you recognize, "Oh, that's it; now what?"
There is a movement, a dance, and an unfolding to direct experience.
It is like the rose. Most humans go about it backwards: they
try to get the rose to open by pulling on the outside petals.
What happens? The petals come off. You have to
wait for the rose to open from within. There is something
within the rose that causes the petals to begin to open, and any
amount of prying or forcing just messes it up. You may get
it open by prying, but it will be unnatural, deformed, and it won't
last very long. The opening of the rose takes time.
Your opening takes time.
For some the opening will be quicker than for others, but it comes
from within. It is not a matter of confidence or ability.
It is not a matter of what you know or what you have learned. Those
things are fertilizers. They can assist, but they are not
really it. They can help, but you can't get the experience
through those things. On the other hand, you may not have
the experience without those things, so it is a bit of a paradox. As
you become silent and present, you begin to understand the "no
way-ness" of Life, that there is not a process, there is not
a way, there is just the stillness, being OK with what-is, stopping
the struggle.
Accepting what-is is not complacency; it is a kind of surrender,
surrender to the unknowingness of existence, surrender to the realization
that there is within you an ultimate power, an ultimate place that
is pure existence, and from that place comes revelation, connection,
awareness of greater connections, awareness of possibilities, awareness
and embracing of uniquenesses, the ultimate connection, the ultimate
unfolding. You find you have talents and gifts; you
have qualities you can share with the rest of Life.
The ultimate sharing is the sharing of yourself, the sharing of
the direct experience, which is mostly beyond words, through acts
of kindness, acts of inspiration, connection, a supportive awareness
of another individual's possibilities. Yes, you see the selfishness,
the stinginess, but there is no point in focusing on that when you
realize that whatever you focus on, gets the energy. In every
human being, there is that core that is often starving to death,
in need recognition, and you find that in others AFTER
you have found it in yourself. If you haven't found it in
yourself, you can't find it in others.
Once again, it is an inside job. Through patience, perseverance,
and allowing, you begin to experience the direct knowing of Life,
the very core of your existence, and then you begin to dare, to
dream, to move, to expand experience in an inclusive outward way, which
is different for each unique expression of The Consciousness.
You can't compare it to another, because it is so unique to the
individual. That is why there is no way. What is good
for one individual, may be very disruptive to another. What
works for one, may not work for another.
If Life wanted to create itself in sameness, everyone would look
alike and talk alike; everyone would have the same feelings,
the same problems, and the same experiences; it would be one experience.
Yet what could such sameness tell Life about itself?
How can something be experienced fully through just
one little taste, one little look? Why should Life be any
less than unlimited experience? Life has created itself uniquely
as expressions, individualities full of possibilities, and these
are realized and accessed through silence, through presence, through
being.
Be slow to have judgments; be quick to offer praise. It is
magic. You can love or you can hate. When you hate,
all you really do is slay yourself; you diminish your being.
When you love, you expand, you find even more to love, even greater
connections.
When you hold an opinion that is separating, in a way you are annihilating; you
are destructive. When you hold an ideal that is connective,
compassionate, accepting, you expand, you add to Life. It
is actually a very simple way of being. You can't really
sit still. You are either adding to or diminishing; that is
the nature of Life. You may think, "Well, rocks sit still."
Not really; you just don't see them move, because they are pretty
slow. All of Life is a movement, a dance, and the music is
silence. The experience is silent, the sharing becomes the
words, the sharing becomes the joy, the sharing is the gift of silence.
You speak from a place of silence that is peaceful, serene, loving,
and that establishes greater connections. When you speak from
the place of the intellect, it can be conditional, judgmental, opinionated, separating,
and very noisy. Silence doesn't mean that the intellect stops,
or that there are no thoughts. Silence arises when the
intellect begins to serve the awakened Life, enhancing the experience
and the gifts that are inherent within beingness. The intellect
begins to look for ways to establish a greater connection, greater
possibilities. It tries to extend the connections to
be more inclusive of these possibilities. So the intellect
truly begins to serve the greater awareness, but it doesn't scream
or complain about anything; it just serves, it just is there,
and you hardly notice it working, because it is silent. There
is no argument, no contest, no competition; it just is. That
is Life. That is the awakened Life, present as True Nature,
and from the place of direct experience of The Consciousness, you
find that Life is truly unlimited, that Life has no problems,
that Life just has possibilities.
Your resistance, or attachment, or judgment makes Life into
a problem; your acceptance, allowing and embracing make it into
an opportunity, so it becomes your choice. You can choose
to remain in separation, living in consensus reality, doubts, beliefs--all
of that; or you can choose to embrace the direct experience and
begin to expand with the unlimited possibilities of existence. In
that process, you might even find that you love yourself.
You might realize that you are not such a bad person after all;
you just acted badly, and deep down, at the core of your existence,
you remained pure, the Life Force waiting to blossom, waiting to
bear its fruit, its gift to the whole universe. It happens
in a moment. It happens in a stillness. It is an experience,
an experience that changes your life forever, an experience of awakening
to True Nature, that unique manifestation of Life, The Consciousness
that you are.
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